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I am sentimental, out-going, indecisive, understanding, curious, naive, lazy, and young. I want to be ... , well a lot of things, and growing is discovering what they are. I feel people cannot see the potential within, although there is no one to blame but myself. I look to others for approval instead of to myself. I aim to please; it leads to approval. I don’t like to discuss my faults; I pity myself.
I am weak in some respects, but in others I am strong. My life is a balance of ups and downs. With my extremes however, my scales never fulfill the word "balance." The ups and downs equal a median on which I travel daily. I love those who understand me, who chose to come close to the fire, who stay long enough to love its warmth, and who know how to avoid being burned. I don’t trust people easily. I don’t throw around my heart. I’ve lost love from my lack of giving. I regret this.
I grab hold of things, always seeking support, a rock on which to lean. I have tried God, boyfriends, and small successes in school and sports, feeling the title FAILURE rise upon my forehead when I slipped. Afterwards I tried even harder to bring myself back up, my recovery taken on the quickest, most unstable route. This explains how I fell so easily. The self-esteem I had needed to be constantly replenished and refilled. My source was not myself, but others, whose opinions mattered more than my own.
I am passionate and at times fearless. I am everything, and I am nothing. I am ever-changing and unpredictable. I crave security but cry for independence. I am black or white, never gray. My actions may not reflect my feelings and vice-versa. I play the submissive female one minute and the aggressive female the next.
Every year I learn more about myself. The person inside no longer takes peeks at the world outside, but screams "Look at me, see what I’ve become, watch because I am coming!" I’ve been through difficult times, but the odds are starting to lean my way; I feel ready for any challenge that may arise.
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"Personal Narrative About Me." 123HelpMe.com. 18 Jan 2019
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